The Value of Values …
My life was forever changed once I defined my own values. My personal values serve as my north star as I move through life. When I reflect back on every difficult and painful situation in my journey, I can say with certainty that either I was not living in alignment with my values or I hadn’t defined them yet. My personal values were created out of recognizing there was a more empowered, proactive, and informed way to live—where I decide what was best for me rather than someone else or someone else’s values. This mindset shift was that life is no longer happening to me but rather for me, and I have agency and sovereignty over my life.
Your values are what you believe are important to you. They motivate you as you move through all the parts of your life. If kindness is your personal value, you will find it rewarding to help others and derive satisfaction and joy from charitable actions. You may volunteer or make a donation to your charity of choice which will leave you feeling good. Life is easier, happier, and more fulfilling when you are living in alignment with your values; you and those around you can feel it. When your actions don’t match your personal values, feelings of frustration, resentment, and anger often surface.
One of the first steps to getting my clients started on their journey to the best version of themselves is to define their values. This process of supported deep introspection includes identifying times in their lives when life was in flow where things were going well verses times that were challenging. In fact, many of my clients show up when they are in the midst of a crisis and what we often uncover is what led them to their rupture is that they were not led by an inner guidance system. They overrode themselves and let others steer them through moments and milestones instead of taking ownership of their own life. The realization that they have outsourced their power is revelatory and empowering.
We are all exposed to a value system early in life. Developmentally, children gain a sense of right and wrong and what is fair and just from watching the world around them, and the actions of the people they love and trust. This helps them to make safe choices and encourages them to contribute to making the world around them a better place. As a mother of a teenager, I see the power of my son’s ability to discern right from wrong. This said, I also discuss what is important to him so I am not forcing my values on him. This foundation anchors him as he goes through the upcoming challenges of teenage years and beyond. He will carry these ideals into his relationships with others, including friends, teachers, romantic partnerships and in the workplace.
“Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave ‘em all over everything you do.”
The complicated thing about values is that we all hold different ones. For each of us who loses track of our values, the outcome will look different with different consequences. Many never ask ourselves what our values are or what it would look like it we weren’t living them. We can get lost easily, and might not know why we yield the same dissatisfying results. By identifying what we need to do to live our values, we can start to become the person we want to be and not what is expected of you. I have always felt pulled to live my life in service, to help, heal, and support others. But somehow I continuously found myself in professional roles that were anything but that. I was feeling unfulfilled despite the perceived success others saw. It wasn’t until I decided to make a career change that work no longer feels like work, but rather an extension of my essence and who I am authentically.
When we live in alignment with our values, it gets easier to love ourselves. We begin to feel happier, more fulfilled and whole. Showing up to life from a place of deep self-love and having agency in your choices has a ripple effect, magnetizing people and relationships that are aligned with you. You will find yourself surrounded by people who are at the same frequency, and catapult your current relationships to an even better place.
My personal values are:
Independence: I live in my sovereignty, make informed decisions that are authentic and true to my heart’s desire, and taking ownership of my life and choices.
Balance: I live in balance that extends to all parts of my life, so I am present, joyful, abundant, and radiant.
Love: I lead with love, so I show up for each moment of my life present, grounded, and grateful.
Well-being: I live in a state of well-being that is in alignment with my mind, body, soul and spirit so I do not burn out.
Let’s talk about your values and how identifying them can change your life forever too!