Is Discomfort the New Normal?

I delight in sharing posts that inspire wellness, purpose, balance and style. But the truth is, I have been struggling, not feeling very well or Well Adorned.

Maybe you can relate or have not felt like yourself either; I know I am not alone. There is a funk that so many are feeling. The cumulative fatigue of 2020—the pandemic, social, political, environmental upheaval and the lack of physical connection with friends and family – have all taken a toll on my mind, body, and spirit. 

My family isolated in the in the mountains for six months, during the early days of the pandemic. There I felt held by nature, which offered an organic grounding at all times. That feeling of calm is harder to find in the city, and impossible during this pandemic. I have spent the past few months turning inward, focused on my own well-being and healing, while continuing to coach, parent, teach, and partner. I have been in survival mode, trying to normalize a not-so-normal situation.

An underlying current of anxiety reared its head just as summer was coming to a close, and it quickly became my baseline after returning to New York City. My three children began school, which requires them to be on campus. And while it was unsettling, I somehow surrendered to the process. I added another layer of chaos to our lives by driving them to and from school in an effort to limit additional exposure to COVID. I was grateful to offer them a sense of normalcy in an otherwise not-so-normal time. Gratitude is such a powerful mindset and while it was supportive, it just wasn’t enough to quell the anxiety.

Autumn brought a hustle and work/life balance that has been really hard. The transition from summer to fall required great feats of strength – physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. There has been a pervasive feeling of anxiety, adjustment, and discomfort … so much so that discomfort has become my new normal.

I doubled down on wellness—I deepened my spiritual practice, I set a solid sleep routine, I practiced an abundance of self-care and self-love rituals, bought myself flowers, danced, connected to my friends and healing circles, ingested only nourishing content and surrounded myself with beauty as best I could, but anxiety has been my co-pilot and life has been feeling uninspired. 

It makes total sense that I feel this way but it is uncomfortable nonetheless. With Thanksgiving a few short weeks away, kicking off a series of holidays that look uncertain, with news about ugly politics and the pandemic, and an uncertainty about just about everything has been destabilizing.

The National Institute for Health cites the strong relationship between uncertainty and anxiety. The less able we are to tolerate uncertainty, the more anxiety we tend to experience and the more it negatively affects our lives. There has been one uncertainty after another this year, and while I accept and adapt to the journey, however difficult, I am having a hard time. It’s ironic that my last blog was about living in alignment because I have arrived at discomfort being my new normal.

Two weeks ago, determined to take my power back, I went to my functional medicine doctor to rule out any underlying health reasons for why I have been feeling so off. As a coach who is passionate about the gut and hormone health, I am aware of the strong mind body connection, especially in relation to the gut. I spent the past two weeks being tested for any and everything possible. I am hopeful that something will come up that can be addressed to help me feel better. There is a sense of reclamation that comes from taking steps to getting to my “WHY?”.  I am a happy, grateful, well person, and a health, wellness, and lifestyle coach, so WHY do I feel so awful? 

I have also been working with my own coach. While I am a coach and a healer, I need help too sometimes. I have had the gift of working with a coach during the darkest times in my life, and the power of that relationship has inspired me to live a life in service, paying it forward.  Coaches need coaches, people well and unwell need coaches, and this has been the best decision I have made since my unraveling this time around.

Finally, I have found a peace that comes with connecting to others. So much so that writing this has been incredibly therapeutic. This is not only a confession but an invitation for connection that I felt called to humbly offer. Although I am still in discomfort and in uncertainty, I am in a better place and able to hold space for you. It’s Ok to ask for help. I would love to hear how you are doing.